This year, Grace wants to sell 650 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.  That is a lot.  We aren't really making very good progress, either, because our neighborhood is pretty hard to sell to.  Today, we gave 10 boxes of cookies to troop to troop, to help her meet her goal, and to give a minuscule token of our daily appreciation to our troops for the sacrifices they make for us.  Troop to troop is when Grace's girl scout troop sends cookies to the U.S. troops by soliciting donations.

I was about to type that one of the challenges with this giving challenge is that I haven't been really embracing the whole concept of MINDFUL giving.  I am giving, but I am not really being terribly mindful about it.  But then, as I was typing this, I thought back to the following quote, and I guess maybe I was a tiny bit mindful today.

"A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving."  Albert Einstein.

Today, I will remind you that you can give too - after emotionally assaulting you with Albert.  You can contact our chief troop giver with your request, if you feel moved to give cookies too, by emailing your request to me@mostlyjenine.com.

Today, we were super busy with fun.

We got hair cuts.  We washed the car.  We ate - we actually ALL ate - Indian food for lunch.  Grace went back 4 times to the buffet.  Andra said "this is good".  Then we spent gift certificates for used books and games.  We drove ourselves down to Kara's volleyball tournament - Go team!  Then, we drove Ryan to get Levi, and stopped by the theaters to see, what else - the Squeaquel.  But the fun?  The fun didn't stop there.

We agreed, all around, that we were ready to go home.  We started driving home.  We talked about what we wanted to dinner at home.  And then we saw the sign.  On the corner.  A small, A frame white sign with only two simple words.  Roller Derby.  So we turned around, and went back - of course!  Who wouldn't?

And now, I am in love with roller derby.  First, they gave us the chance to give.  They had Food Bank donations and Haiti donations.  So we gave to Haiti, again.  It still doesn't seem like enough, so I guess we will probably keep on giving.  Then, we got to go to the roller derby!  Super girl power, roller skates, a rock band - what else is there?  We had a great time and came home.  I can't wait to go to roller derby again, plus I need to start working on my Roller Derby Name.  Je Mean Business?  (pronounced to rhyme with Jenine and a little French accent?)  J-9-Lives?  You know, 9 lives?  Maybe less obscure, something like "I'll Kill You"?  I'll keep working on it.

Today I took Bob to lunch.  And bought him personalized memo pads. 

We were both crabby, for different reasons.  But after a wedge salad and a pepperoni pizza, the world seemed like a brighter place for both of us.

I will say that I also over tipped, all day, even to people who barely served me (so I really, truly believe tipping at all was a gift).

Gifts all around.

I have muddled over this for a while.  I miss writing letters.  I miss receiving letters.  There is something special and wonderful about some pretty stationery or a bright postcard in the mailbox.  It balances out the notes from our mailman/cousin saying our mail has been stolen and left all over the neighborhood.  Writing letters, however, is really a lost art.  We email, we text - we just don't write letters anymore.

I cleaned up my home office a little, and I realized I have enough stationery to write my congressmen, all of them, every day all year.  Fortunately, I don't want to write to them, I want to write to people I like. 

I have had this idea that if you wrote a letter to someone every day, that your life would be magically better.  I don't know how, but I keep thinking I should try it and see.  I have come up with all kinds of rules I should follow over the years, and while I am great at other people's rules, I don't follow my own rules very well at all.  So to heck with the rules. 

I aim to use up my stationery.  I will write letters.  If they are private, I will spare you the details, but I will post who I sent to and maybe why for each day. 

Let's just see where I end up.  I will start posting after my 29 days are up, so stay tuned.

I gave a lot today.  I gave quite a few people grief.  I gave quite a bit of lip.  I gave my job all the cranky frenetic energy I had.  I actually accomplished all kinds of things I have been needing to get done, and yet, instead of feeling satisfied and productive, I was just annoyed. 

Everything seemed way harder than it should have, and everyone had questions.  QUESTIONS!  The NERVE.

All things considered, I didn't feel very giving, and I wasn't entirely focused on what I could offer the universe.  I read last night, and the gal in the book is getting a little annoying, and throwing away her bra because the medicine woman told her to in a divination, and I can't relate.  Then I dreamed last night about missing my flight to go on vacation with my family, but only after dreaming that I nagged Phil relentlessly about being to the airport 2 hours early, because it was an international flight.  Then Grace whined all morning about me helping her find her homework, which she dreamed was at our house, but which was really at the neighbors house. 

I ate at my desk, came straight home from the girl's dance class and talked to no one except the people who have to talk to me at work.  Giving opportunities limited.

I tried to give a present to Bob, but I was trying to use a coupon, and it didn't work because it was some nebulous spam coupon I was dumb enough to think was real.  Anyway, I guess that kind of giving isn't what it is all about.

So I am under the gun, and Project Runway is almost over, and the book says if you miss a day you have to start over.  Day 8 is usually the end of the road for me.  It is the day I stop taking antibiotics.  It is the day I would go back on the juice if I ever pretended to try and quit drinking coffee.  So really, it is a pretty big day for me and to complete my BE BETTER 2010 campaign, I can't give up now.

The only thing I have left to give, today, is my next big idea.    Look up.

Hello!  Haiti!

Today, Day 7, although it seems so terribly far away, and distant things are easy to push to the back of your mind, there is no denying the draw to give to Haiti.

So today, although it seemed a little obvious, I gave to Haiti. 

Day 5.  Andra has grown out of her leotards.  She is almost as tall as I am.   I could have bought her the awkward leotard at our ballet studio, but I drove on my lunch hour to buy her a lovely purple leotard with rhinestones, and a sophisticated grown up black leotard. 
They cost about a weeks salary (at least a week of my first job) so I am calling it a gift.

Day 6 (which is today). I am very focused on working today (ok, well not right NOW - it's dinner time, but most of the rest of the day).  And Misty offered to let me give her a gift.  So I was Misty's guest at a very nice lucnh, but I bought since she just got promoted.  This was a good start on my keeping in touch plan.  It was a bit of a gift for me, too, to spend some time with a smart lady I like (that's you, Misty).  Win.  Win. 

Tomorrow is another day.  So many gifts, so little time...

My winter reading includes a book called 29 Gifts - How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life.  There is a website.  www.29gifts.org. Check it out.  I am going to take the challenge, and tell you my 29 gifts.

Day 1.  Perhaps it is cheating, because I already had this lined up.  But I have an amazing group of employees and I gave them all spa gift certificates.  They deserve it.  They usually take care of me.  So I hope they will let me pay someone to take care of them for a change.  One of them admitted she still had the certificate I gave her last year, so it forced her to make an appointment.  Check.

Day 2.  I gave someone tickets to the basketball game.  That was easy.  I also listened to someone who needed someone to listen.  I am not always a good listener, although I work at it almost every day.  Maybe I can keep getting better at it.

Day 3.  A giving bonanza.  I gave cash to the guy sitting doing sodoku at a table, next to his shopping cart full of worldly possessions.  He looked like he could use lunch.  I gave a birthday present to Andra's friend.  I gave a hostess gift to someone who was, you guessed it, hosting a party.  I gave a glowing referral for  Lyra, the best photographer ever.  I gave a new mom the chance to eat dinner while I commandeered her sweet baby boy for an hour.  I gave my kids a gift card to the coolest bookstore in town and actually let them pick what they wanted without saying "You don't need that." 20 times.  It starts to actually feel selfish, because all this giving is making me pretty happy.

Day 4.  The giving of stuff is pretty easy, I guess.  Today, I gave a job to my neighbor (the SACRIFICE - I had to get a massage so she could work).  That was pretty easy.  I also gave Grace her way.  Which was much harder.  Grace watches so much Food TV that she plots and schemes elaborate meal plans that don't usually fit in to my normal level of effort.  So today, I let her pick what we were going to make, we shopped for it, and we are making dinner for tonight, compliments of the Next Food Network Star Melissa, with Kielbasa "as a side" she says, and then we are making lasagna for later in the week.  Plus, she is making a dessert which doesn't sound good to me, but everyone else will probably love.  The food is now baking, and I let her do it all.  It took forever.  It seems like the start of a good joke "How many hours does it take for a 9 year old to slice 5 pounds of potatoes?" 

I feel like in order to keep it up, I need to PLAN the next 25 gifts, but maybe that isn't the way it is supposed to go.  I guess if you are trying to be present, and aware of what someone else might need, you are more open.  I guess I will just be on the look out tomorrow.  Someone out there needs something. 

2010 has begun, and I have written several New Year posts, and then lost interest and moved on.  They were all well written and lovely, maybe even moving.  Just trust me.

I have really just one resolution - and it is simple, but very hard.  I just want to be better.  Better at staying focused on a project.  Better at making dinner at home, and better at making lunches I wouldn't curl up and die over if Jacki saw what was in them.  Better at exercising this healthy, weak shell I am taking for granted, and better at keeping up with people.  That means you.

I often joke that I have no friends, since I understood when I kept working and tackled this whole working mother thing that I wasn't really allowed to have friends.  Phil says it is my fault, and somehow he has managed to retain and grow an extensive network of people who would do just about anything for him.  He is probably right (even if him saying so is a little mean).

This week, my friend Shelley (see - I do have friends) sent me a book I have heard of and wanted to read called 29 Gifts, How a Month of Giving Can Change your Life.  I have started reading the book, and it suggests you journal about what gifts you give, so I think I will start telling you my 29 gifts.  I started a couple days ago - so see my next post.  It is kind of catching.

The whole idea is to stop thinking so much about yourself, and instead focus on others.  This is not a new concept - in fact the first time I heard it was at a Junior High assembly with a guy who had a whole "I'm Third" gig - passing out little blue business cards that say "I'm Third" to help us all remember - God is first, others are second and I'm third.  That was probably 1980.  So see, not new.

When I see a book like this it makes me mad, because I figure, I could do that.  I could have written that.  I started writing 3 books over the last couple months, writing upwards of 60,000 words on stories I should finish, only because I want to know what happens next even if they aren't fit for print.  The point is, I DIDN'T do it.  I have ideas for books every day - like thinking of a political candidate who makes the big time, with short stories of all the people who helped him get there, called "On the Backs of Men".  Good, right? 

So the one I always really believe I will do, but then get distracted by something shiny, and don't do is going to be part of my overall 2010 - Be Better campaign.  I will reveal it in a day or two.

So I am going to be a) showing off by telling you my gifts this month, and b) kicking off my own personal version just to see if I can keep it up and by being accountable, make myself follow through.

I know most of you are silent observers, and infrequent responders.  But as part of your very own 2010 Be Better campaign, consider telling me if you are giving or "insert Jenine's next great plan to be revealed soon"ing.  You can scramble the letters in your name if you are shy so no one knows its you. 

I am trying to keep my friends, so I won't tell.

And now it is time to put all the presents away and climb back up the hill...