Mostly Jenine

An Orange Drink in Kino Bay

2010-03-08T04:09:00Z

In probably 1985, my Mom, my Dad and I went on spring break to Kino Bay, Mexico. Saturday, I got a Mexican orange soda at the international market, and drinking it brought back memories of that trip. Some days, if you asked me if I had ever been to Kino Bay, I might have forgotten, because I was a teenager, and the trip was deliciously boring.

And strangely enough, with the complexity of our lives today, that is what I remembered. I remember a nearly vacant beach, and nothing about the hotel room. I remember getting up in the mornings, getting an orange soda and lying on sand. I remember one night, we went to the end of the road, and were escorted in to a restaurant by men with machine guns, which, admittedly was strange. We went on to order, and someone, likely Dad, ordered lobster, and when it came it was a lobster as big as an alligator and it was just sawed in half down the middle and it must have taken an hour to eat.

I must have read something that week. I must have interacted with my parents and probably other people, but I remember none of it. There was no TV. No music. No siblings. I remember the leisure of having nothing to do for days, and the joy of an orange soda on a hot day. It seems to me, even today, like a perfect vacation.

Other Worldly

2010-03-08T03:06:00Z

For the two of you who still stop by, and the handful that have email updates, I am sorry I have been awol.

I just haven't felt it in me, but I guess I am not dead yet, because one trip to the grocery store gave me about 9 mental blog posts.

Grace and I just went to the new Oriental Market in town. It was a wild and wonderful ride, and I am sure we looked like the worst kind of tourists, with perplexed and admiring looks on our faces as we picked up this mung bean noodle, and this beloved candy pocky stick candy, and this new treasure of blueberry gum. We picked up pickled cucumbers (which were not at all what we were expecting when we opened them) and mung bean cake which was pressed into a beautiful white shape of perfection. We passed on both the dragon fruit and jack fruit, although that took some restraint, especially since we saw repeats of the jack fruit in various canned varieties on almost every aisle, regardless of the country. Next time.

As we went up and down each aisle it was like being in a different country with each turn of the corner. I don't think I was imagining that the Middle Eastern aisles had Middle Easterners, and each respective Asian aisle had the respective Asian customers. I kept wondering if something as simple as a grocery store, one with an aisle filled with their own language, and with the food they remembered from the days when they were small could feel like home to them. I felt this sense of joy in each aisle, mixed with a poignant sadness of loss. I read a lovely book once, called "Crescent" where the writer talks about the eternal grief for your lost country, when you leave it, and I wondered if this little glimpse of home could help, even a little bit. If standing in the line at the meat shop in the store that had baked things that honestly, you would never see at the corner grocery (they still had necks and eyes and parts) makes you feel a small comfort.

We stood in line behind a wizened woman buying spring roll wrappers (we were too!), but she had all kinds of indescribable contents for her spring rolls, like sliced eye (of what?) and some kind of bone or hoof or hock of something, and piles of lovely green vegetables and I could just see her, making rolls just like her mother taught her. The contents of each cart were as unique as the person pushing it, and it was a cultural experience, and while most of the drivers seemed to know exactly where they were heading, Grace and I were aimless and lost.

Altogether, Grace and I spent $42. It was the cheapest possible trip around the world.

Further Proof Grace is Underchallenged in School.

2010-03-06T15:39:00Z

When they finish their desk work, the teacher says they can doodle until everyone else is done. Here is what Grace did.

Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jig

2010-02-22T04:28:00Z

I have spent the last week touring. I am going to give you a list of highlights:

LIST 1 - AIRPORTS (counting separate days as separate visits):

TUS SLC BOI BOI SLC SLC BTM BTM SLC GEG GEG SLC TUS

Or Tucson, Salt Lake, Boise, Salt Lake, Butte, Salt Lake, Spokane, Salt Lake, Tucson.

LIST 2 - SEATMATES:

TUS SLC - Chick Cowboy Poet. Sam and I had a wonderful discussion about writing, and inspiration. Check her out here. This is your Monday morning poetry reading assignment.
SLC BOI Seatmate - Penny. Penny is a slightly older, Asian version of me. Public accounting, to industry and lovely to boot. We had such a nice conversation about all kinds of things, and we laughed the whole flight. Two fascinating seatmates in a row? Amazing.
BOI SLC - I don't remember, so it was probably a coworker. Sorry guys.
SLC BTM - Small Business owner coming back from a baseball tournament for his son. He was wearing shorts, and I asked why, because we kept seeing these crazy northerners wearing shorts. He sat in something in Vegas and ruined his pants. I could totally understand. He gave us restaurant recommendations for lunch, which you will see below.
BTM SLC - All By Myself.
SLC GEG - I sat next to a nice young sniper, on leave from Afghanistan. I couldn't help but watch him sleep, and stare at those long lashes and think of his life. He shared a lot of stories, and the mom in me just wanted to hug him. He described his tour this way "You know how some things seem like they are going slowly, but in hindsight, it doesn't seem like it was that long? Afghanistan is nothing like that. It feels 4 or 5 times longer than it is."
GEG Airport - the COMMODORES! Hello! Sold out show in Spokane, Man. They flew on the GEG SLC flight - coach.
GEG SLC - I sat next to...... The YO YO MAN. He is a motivational speaker for kids in elementary school and was on his way to a 10 school tour in Tulsa. He was, shall I say, motivational.
SLC TUS - Civil Engineer from Alaska, visiting his parents after a Vegas training. He was just kind of civil.

LIST 3 - GREAT FOOD:

Valentines dinner at Leku Ona. It was good Basque food, and I kept my shirt on.
Breakfast Tuesday - Starbucks, otherwise known as Trouble. After chugging a huge coffee, halfway to our destination I need a bathroom break like NOW. I got a little whiny. Here is how I think I acted. WARNING, PRODUCTIVITY DRAIN - if you are anything like me you will watch this 900 times: What I acted like HERE.
Lunch Wednesday - Butte MT. Pork Chop Johns. Check it - battered and deep fried pork chop on a bun with mayo, lettuce and tomato. Awe. Some.
Breakfast Thursday - Right next door to Pork Chop Johns, we noticed the sign that said Cherry Shakes. Yum. So for breakfast Thursday, we had onion rings and Cherry Shakes. I have to admit that there were about 9 other places I wanted to eat - like the Huckleberry Shake Shack, and the family candy store. Next time.
Dinner Friday - Mom's house. She makes food I don't and it was wonderful. Organic roasted chicken (from the neighbor's) with baked potatoes, tomato mozzarella salad and asparagus. Just like Mom made it.
Dinner Saturday - Milford's Fish House. Beets. Scallops. Yum.

LIST 4 - BOOKS I READ:

The Fish Philosophy. The point? Morale. Teamwork. Fun.
The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. The point? Teamwork (obviously).
Good to Great. The point? There were many, but it was a great (if challenging) read.
The Ultimate Gift. The point? There were many in this, too, but they are all good ones. Watch the movie. It was better.
The Witch of Portobello (I bought it in the airport today after I ran out my battery, wrote a Jerry Maguire type treatise, wrote 3 letters and ate lunch). The point? You must be true to yourself.

LIST 5 - MOVIES I SAW:

Up in the Air. Seemed appropriate. Seatmate - Mom.

LIST 6 - KEY WARDROBE ITEMS:

Navy Velvet Calvin Klein Blazer
Orange blanket/scarf - I think I wore this all day every day as a scarf, hat and blanket
Leather gloves with cashmere lining. AAAAAA.
Under Armour black watch cap - they called me Navy Seal
The find (Thanks Beth!) Uniqlo Heattech tank - IT GENERATES HEAT WITH YOUR SWEAT. How cool (and warm) is that.

I spent the weekend with my Mom and Earl, and it is so peaceful and lovely at their house. She took me to Nordstrom's and I walked through, and within 20 minutes we found 5 shirts and 4 jackets and Nordstrom's shipped them straight to my house so I didn't have to pack them. It was meant to be. She was a great facilitator.

All things considered, and based on the fact that I actually worked a full week on top of all this, it was a pretty great week. In spite of that, I sure am glad to be home. I hope you had a great week too.

I just have to say.

2010-02-11T04:23:00Z

Some of you have heard part of this story. But it got better today. This is really just an examination of inefficiency. Those of you who know me, and hopefully love me, know I don't suffer inefficiency. I spot it everywhere, and I do my best to breathe deeply and let it go.

Sometimes, I can't. I apologize for the long rant.

The girls and I needed passports. To get a passport with children you have to go to the passport office.

So I filled out the available online passport form completely and totally. I printed and read the instructions repeatedly so I would bring all important papers. I got a notarized affidavit from Phil allowing me to go to the passport office and get passports with my children, just in case I was devious and tried to smuggle them out of the country. I had birth certificates, plus my old passport.

We went to the office. We took a number. We watched the 4 clerks help the professional clerk's office paper bringers in sequence - these are people whose job is to take a number, stand in line, and then hand the clerk somewhere between 50 and 1 million sheets of paper (there was clearly some limit, but the stacks did not appear to have any consistent height or time limit.). The one sweet couple waiting to get a marriage license and I laughed about the clerks who move in slow motion rifling through papers. For the first hour. Then it stopped being funny.

Then, we had a ray of sunshine. "G" stepped up to a new window. There is hope. Cute couple is the next number, and we have a jovial laugh in anticipation of their good fortune. And then the most amazing thing happened. "G" spent round about 12 minutes, best we can figure, just moving things around the desk. Turning on the computer and printer. Lining up the rubber stamps. Sharpening a pencil. Cute couple and I muse that this cries out for YouTube, it is so pathological. I joke "I hope you weren't planning to get married today!" To which they respond that actually, they were hoping to. If the Clerk's office will permit such a thing. Finally, at long last, he calls them. One half hour later they have a license.

Other three clerks? Still helping professional line waiters. My number next. "G" comes available. Looks up at number sign. And just as he starts to call my number, Supervisor asks "G" to help cute couple number 2 with their marriage license. A long time passes. He prints certificate. Bride to be points out error. It was just her name, after all. Another long time. Professional line waiters still being served by other clerks. Dinner reservation time arrived. Passed. 10 minutes from "Passport window closing time". FINALLY.

Our number. Its "G". I have my prefilled paperwork stacked in order by person: Application / Birth Certificate / Affidavit . 1,2,3. Check book out. "G" looks at papers. Turns over papers. Tells me they aren't the current form. I point out the "Good through 12/31/2011" on the top. He agrees to take the form.

He has to write my driver's license three times total. He has to staple one picture to each application. He then has to swear us in. I am not kidding. This took 25 minutes. 25 MINUTES to write 30 digits and the word Arizona 3 times, carefully place 6 staples and ask us to raise our right hand. 25 infernal late for dinner minutes.

After he swears us in, he staples the check to the Clerk's office to the Federal passport application and I point out his error. So he starts opening drawers and slowly moving around until I realize he is looking for a staple remover. I reach under the glass, pick out the staple with my fingernail. He leaves anyway because "He can't work without my staple remover." He is gone for 2 or 3 minutes.

To summarize, for me to deliver Prefilled out forms with all the related paperwork and write two checks and raise my right hand took 2 hours of waiting and one full half hour at "G's" window. Even the girls were horrified.

After 10 days, I log in to the Federal State department website. Grace and I? Passports in process. I register our emails addresses. Andra? Not there. I wait another week. Andra still not there. In spite of the DIRE warnings about not calling the Federal office, I called. I explained that I was concerned that Andra's passport was AWOL. Lady confirms it isn't, and hangs up.

Today? Today, oh glorious day, I got an email telling my application had been received. It was in process, and would take 4 to 6 weeks, and please, do not call the Federal office. I was thinking this was still okay, more or less.

And today I got my passport in the mail. Just mine, and it didn't have my birth certificate, or my old passport. It did have a little slip of paper, and politely explained that my documents would come back in another envelope. Just to make sure they spend the most money, I guess.

Honestly, I find it all rather shocking. I need a tropical vacation just to forget it all. I just hope my kids can come too.

21. 22. 23. Ok, and 24. 25.

2010-01-28T03:41:00Z

I forgot I gave some cookies away on day 21. How is that for mindful giving. Sigh.

On day 22 I propagated all kinds of trouble, I am afraid. I inadvertently made all kinds of people feel bad about things, including myself. I gave in little ways all day, but none seem big enough to admit. I probably would have felt better if I made some grand gesture to people, but all I could think of was to buy Andra some crazy expensive flossers that fit under your braces (kind of self serving since I want her to have nice teeth after all the money it will take to make them straight) and I bought Valentine's presents for the girls (kind of pre-gifting).

Day 23, I did, however, give from scarcity today (one of the rules) and gave some time to my new pet charity, the Tucson Children's Museum. I got a free lunch, but it grew out of my instigating and offering help, so I committed to more time. Sometime. In the future.

On day 24, which was only Friday, but seems like a year ago, I sent a great CD to someone who won't be expecting it.

Day 25, yesterday, I was nicer than usual to my kids (at least I think so) and I gave Grace a small gift to thank her for helping me with a couple things.

I am thinking alot more about giving, but I am getting tired of tracking it, and confessing, if you will. I have 4 days left, and I will say that I am more thoughtful each day, but that in between a full time job, four dance practices, two basketball practices, a basketball game, laundry and general home maintence, daily giving is a challenge. Giving isn't hard, but doing it in a way that isn't just throwing money around (my personal over-compensation for my lack of time) is a challenge.

I will keep on giving, and keep on thinking more about people, I admit it. So, just a couple more days in gimmcik number 1 in 2010 Be Better...

Day 19. 20. Still working on day 21.

2010-01-26T03:14:00Z

On day 19 I gave money to my Quito girls. For 5 or 6 years we have sponsored a couple girls in Ecuador through Children International, and so I gave them an extra contribution for education. Children International does do a great job of telling you about your sponsored child.

On day 20 I bought lunch for some people who needed lunch. They work in my office, so they weren't the homeless variety, but they did need lunch.

Day 21 isn't over yet, so back off, already. I am working on it.

Day 18, a new day

2010-01-23T20:04:00Z

Day 18 - I am mailing a birthday present to one friend, who needs a present right now. I am mailing a birthday present for Sophie (gosh I hope I heard right that it was her birthday...) and some little gifts to Jennie and Martin. I am going to give a present to Sevda, too, by including some cookies for Jennie to mail to Sevda (it costs $40 to mail $4 of girl scout cookies out of the country so I will let Jennie do the mailing part ).

I actually am thinking ahead, better, trying to remember what birthdays are coming and getting people things they would like. This is somewhat counter to my usual gift giving of giving what I like. I have several upcoming birthdays all shopped for, and I have delightful valentines gifts for certain people, plus we are throwing a valentines party for the girls friends.

I wrapped up the day by cleaning out my gift buckets, and gave two huge bags of presents for the Good Kid box to Grace's teacher. Things I have assembled over the years and never given away, but that any Fourth Grader will be happy to have.

Look out Day 19, here I come...

14.15.16.

2010-01-22T03:25:00Z

I said earlier that day 8 was the hard day. Day 16? Twice as hard.

On day 14 I took my mother in law to a musical. I let her buy me dinner, and I bought her coffee. We kind of gifted each other. The book talks quite a bit about reciprocity being part of what you need to learn about the universe - and taking gifts is often hard for me. So I will take this as a sign I am growing.

On day 15 I mailed a handful of letters to people, I got my kids some yummy snacks for lunches, which is kind of a cross between normal parenting, and gifting. At this point, I am realizing I am not, as the requirement states, being particularly mindful about giving. I vow to work on this part.

So on day 16 I wrote a letter to a friend (who I don't think reads my blog) who needs a friend who isn't crazy right now. I sent her this super cool necklace I bought on our trip to San Diego, that I have been saving for just such an occasion (someone needing something cool) but only after I mindfully surfed the internet for something that would be decadent that she would never do for herself. Day 16 felt a tiny bit more mindful.

On day 17, which was yesterday, Oi. I struggled a little. So I gave my children patience, their way and a movie. We went and picked up donuts at Krispy Kreme - because they wanted to. Then they picked where we were having dinner, and we went to Avatar. Which was delightful, I must say.

I am working out all kinds of thoughtfulness for today to make up for my lack of mindfulness...

Day 12. A Big Trip.

2010-01-19T03:42:00Z

Earlier this year I won a gift. It was a really good gift. If you are flexible. If you plan ahead. But I am not, always, and I didn't.

So today I had to sigh deeply and "downgrade" my 2 round trip tickets to Europe into 2 round trip tickets to Acapulco (we could still have gone to Europe, but only if we never wanted to come home... which maybe isn't such a bad idea after all). Then I bought 2 more tickets and reserved a room in a newly refurbished, expensive hotel for a week for my family. While I get to go too, I am counting this as a gift to all of us. I could get used to this kind of giving.

Day 11. Cookies for the Troops.

2010-01-18T03:23:00Z

This year, Grace wants to sell 650 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies. That is a lot. We aren't really making very good progress, either, because our neighborhood is pretty hard to sell to. Today, we gave 10 boxes of cookies to troop to troop, to help her meet her goal, and to give a minuscule token of our daily appreciation to our troops for the sacrifices they make for us. Troop to troop is when Grace's girl scout troop sends cookies to the U.S. troops by soliciting donations.

I was about to type that one of the challenges with this giving challenge is that I haven't been really embracing the whole concept of MINDFUL giving. I am giving, but I am not really being terribly mindful about it. But then, as I was typing this, I thought back to the following quote, and I guess maybe I was a tiny bit mindful today.

"A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving." Albert Einstein.

Today, I will remind you that you can give too - after emotionally assaulting you with Albert. You can contact our chief troop giver with your request, if you feel moved to give cookies too, by emailing your request to me@mostlyjenine.com.

Day 10. An Awakening.

2010-01-17T03:36:00Z

Today, we were super busy with fun.

We got hair cuts. We washed the car. We ate - we actually ALL ate - Indian food for lunch. Grace went back 4 times to the buffet. Andra said "this is good". Then we spent gift certificates for used books and games. We drove ourselves down to Kara's volleyball tournament - Go team! Then, we drove Ryan to get Levi, and stopped by the theaters to see, what else - the Squeaquel. But the fun? The fun didn't stop there.

We agreed, all around, that we were ready to go home. We started driving home. We talked about what we wanted to dinner at home. And then we saw the sign. On the corner. A small, A frame white sign with only two simple words. Roller Derby. So we turned around, and went back - of course! Who wouldn't?

And now, I am in love with roller derby. First, they gave us the chance to give. They had Food Bank donations and Haiti donations. So we gave to Haiti, again. It still doesn't seem like enough, so I guess we will probably keep on giving. Then, we got to go to the roller derby! Super girl power, roller skates, a rock band - what else is there? We had a great time and came home. I can't wait to go to roller derby again, plus I need to start working on my Roller Derby Name. Je Mean Business? (pronounced to rhyme with Jenine and a little French accent?) J-9-Lives? You know, 9 lives? Maybe less obscure, something like "I'll Kill You"? I'll keep working on it.

Day 9. Bob's gonna be fine.

2010-01-17T03:24:00Z

Today I took Bob to lunch. And bought him personalized memo pads.

We were both crabby, for different reasons. But after a wedge salad and a pepperoni pizza, the world seemed like a brighter place for both of us.

I will say that I also over tipped, all day, even to people who barely served me (so I really, truly believe tipping at all was a gift).

Gifts all around.

MY NEXT BIG IDEA: 365 Letters

2010-01-15T04:06:00Z

I have muddled over this for a while. I miss writing letters. I miss receiving letters. There is something special and wonderful about some pretty stationery or a bright postcard in the mailbox. It balances out the notes from our mailman/cousin saying our mail has been stolen and left all over the neighborhood. Writing letters, however, is really a lost art. We email, we text - we just don't write letters anymore.

I cleaned up my home office a little, and I realized I have enough stationery to write my congressmen, all of them, every day all year. Fortunately, I don't want to write to them, I want to write to people I like.

I have had this idea that if you wrote a letter to someone every day, that your life would be magically better. I don't know how, but I keep thinking I should try it and see. I have come up with all kinds of rules I should follow over the years, and while I am great at other people's rules, I don't follow my own rules very well at all. So to heck with the rules.

I aim to use up my stationery. I will write letters. If they are private, I will spare you the details, but I will post who I sent to and maybe why for each day.

Let's just see where I end up. I will start posting after my 29 days are up, so stay tuned.

Day 8. Not so great.

2010-01-15T03:35:00Z

I gave a lot today. I gave quite a few people grief. I gave quite a bit of lip. I gave my job all the cranky frenetic energy I had. I actually accomplished all kinds of things I have been needing to get done, and yet, instead of feeling satisfied and productive, I was just annoyed.

Everything seemed way harder than it should have, and everyone had questions. QUESTIONS! The NERVE.

All things considered, I didn't feel very giving, and I wasn't entirely focused on what I could offer the universe. I read last night, and the gal in the book is getting a little annoying, and throwing away her bra because the medicine woman told her to in a divination, and I can't relate. Then I dreamed last night about missing my flight to go on vacation with my family, but only after dreaming that I nagged Phil relentlessly about being to the airport 2 hours early, because it was an international flight. Then Grace whined all morning about me helping her find her homework, which she dreamed was at our house, but which was really at the neighbors house.

I ate at my desk, came straight home from the girl's dance class and talked to no one except the people who have to talk to me at work. Giving opportunities limited.

I tried to give a present to Bob, but I was trying to use a coupon, and it didn't work because it was some nebulous spam coupon I was dumb enough to think was real. Anyway, I guess that kind of giving isn't what it is all about.

So I am under the gun, and Project Runway is almost over, and the book says if you miss a day you have to start over. Day 8 is usually the end of the road for me. It is the day I stop taking antibiotics. It is the day I would go back on the juice if I ever pretended to try and quit drinking coffee. So really, it is a pretty big day for me and to complete my BE BETTER 2010 campaign, I can't give up now.

The only thing I have left to give, today, is my next big idea. Look up.

This was too easy.

2010-01-14T02:58:00Z

Hello! Haiti!

Today, Day 7, although it seems so terribly far away, and distant things are easy to push to the back of your mind, there is no denying the draw to give to Haiti.

So today, although it seemed a little obvious, I gave to Haiti.

Day 5. Day 6. Giving.

2010-01-13T01:42:00Z

Day 5. Andra has grown out of her leotards. She is almost as tall as I am. I could have bought her the awkward leotard at our ballet studio, but I drove on my lunch hour to buy her a lovely purple leotard with rhinestones, and a sophisticated grown up black leotard.
They cost about a weeks salary (at least a week of my first job) so I am calling it a gift.

Day 6 (which is today). I am very focused on working today (ok, well not right NOW - it's dinner time, but most of the rest of the day). And Misty offered to let me give her a gift. So I was Misty's guest at a very nice lucnh, but I bought since she just got promoted. This was a good start on my keeping in touch plan. It was a bit of a gift for me, too, to spend some time with a smart lady I like (that's you, Misty). Win. Win.

Tomorrow is another day. So many gifts, so little time...

Giving it Away

2010-01-10T22:19:00Z

My winter reading includes a book called 29 Gifts - How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life. There is a website. www.29gifts.org. Check it out. I am going to take the challenge, and tell you my 29 gifts.

Day 1. Perhaps it is cheating, because I already had this lined up. But I have an amazing group of employees and I gave them all spa gift certificates. They deserve it. They usually take care of me. So I hope they will let me pay someone to take care of them for a change. One of them admitted she still had the certificate I gave her last year, so it forced her to make an appointment. Check.

Day 2. I gave someone tickets to the basketball game. That was easy. I also listened to someone who needed someone to listen. I am not always a good listener, although I work at it almost every day. Maybe I can keep getting better at it.

Day 3. A giving bonanza. I gave cash to the guy sitting doing sodoku at a table, next to his shopping cart full of worldly possessions. He looked like he could use lunch. I gave a birthday present to Andra's friend. I gave a hostess gift to someone who was, you guessed it, hosting a party. I gave a glowing referral for Lyra, the best photographer ever. I gave a new mom the chance to eat dinner while I commandeered her sweet baby boy for an hour. I gave my kids a gift card to the coolest bookstore in town and actually let them pick what they wanted without saying "You don't need that." 20 times. It starts to actually feel selfish, because all this giving is making me pretty happy.

Day 4. The giving of stuff is pretty easy, I guess. Today, I gave a job to my neighbor (the SACRIFICE - I had to get a massage so she could work). That was pretty easy. I also gave Grace her way. Which was much harder. Grace watches so much Food TV that she plots and schemes elaborate meal plans that don't usually fit in to my normal level of effort. So today, I let her pick what we were going to make, we shopped for it, and we are making dinner for tonight, compliments of the Next Food Network Star Melissa, with Kielbasa "as a side" she says, and then we are making lasagna for later in the week. Plus, she is making a dessert which doesn't sound good to me, but everyone else will probably love. The food is now baking, and I let her do it all. It took forever. It seems like the start of a good joke "How many hours does it take for a 9 year old to slice 5 pounds of potatoes?"

I feel like in order to keep it up, I need to PLAN the next 25 gifts, but maybe that isn't the way it is supposed to go. I guess if you are trying to be present, and aware of what someone else might need, you are more open. I guess I will just be on the look out tomorrow. Someone out there needs something.

New Again

2010-01-10T22:01:00Z

2010 has begun, and I have written several New Year posts, and then lost interest and moved on. They were all well written and lovely, maybe even moving. Just trust me.

I have really just one resolution - and it is simple, but very hard. I just want to be better. Better at staying focused on a project. Better at making dinner at home, and better at making lunches I wouldn't curl up and die over if Jacki saw what was in them. Better at exercising this healthy, weak shell I am taking for granted, and better at keeping up with people. That means you.

I often joke that I have no friends, since I understood when I kept working and tackled this whole working mother thing that I wasn't really allowed to have friends. Phil says it is my fault, and somehow he has managed to retain and grow an extensive network of people who would do just about anything for him. He is probably right (even if him saying so is a little mean).

This week, my friend Shelley (see - I do have friends) sent me a book I have heard of and wanted to read called 29 Gifts, How a Month of Giving Can Change your Life. I have started reading the book, and it suggests you journal about what gifts you give, so I think I will start telling you my 29 gifts. I started a couple days ago - so see my next post. It is kind of catching.

The whole idea is to stop thinking so much about yourself, and instead focus on others. This is not a new concept - in fact the first time I heard it was at a Junior High assembly with a guy who had a whole "I'm Third" gig - passing out little blue business cards that say "I'm Third" to help us all remember - God is first, others are second and I'm third. That was probably 1980. So see, not new.

When I see a book like this it makes me mad, because I figure, I could do that. I could have written that. I started writing 3 books over the last couple months, writing upwards of 60,000 words on stories I should finish, only because I want to know what happens next even if they aren't fit for print. The point is, I DIDN'T do it. I have ideas for books every day - like thinking of a political candidate who makes the big time, with short stories of all the people who helped him get there, called "On the Backs of Men". Good, right?

So the one I always really believe I will do, but then get distracted by something shiny, and don't do is going to be part of my overall 2010 - Be Better campaign. I will reveal it in a day or two.

So I am going to be a) showing off by telling you my gifts this month, and b) kicking off my own personal version just to see if I can keep it up and by being accountable, make myself follow through.

I know most of you are silent observers, and infrequent responders. But as part of your very own 2010 Be Better campaign, consider telling me if you are giving or "insert Jenine's next great plan to be revealed soon"ing. You can scramble the letters in your name if you are shy so no one knows its you.

I am trying to keep my friends, so I won't tell.

Turn out the lights, the party's over...

2009-12-27T00:54:00Z

And now it is time to put all the presents away and climb back up the hill...