I forgot I gave some cookies away on day 21.  How is that for mindful giving.  Sigh.

On day 22 I propagated all kinds of trouble, I am afraid.  I inadvertently made all kinds of people feel bad about things, including myself. I gave in little ways all day, but none seem big enough to admit.  I probably would have felt better if I made some grand gesture to people, but all I could think of was to buy Andra some crazy expensive flossers that fit under your braces (kind of self serving since I want her to have nice teeth after all the money it will take to make them straight) and I bought Valentine's presents for the girls (kind of pre-gifting).

Day 23,  I did, however, give from scarcity today (one of the rules) and gave some time to my new pet charity, the Tucson Children's Museum.  I got a free lunch, but it grew out of my instigating and offering help, so I committed to more time.  Sometime.  In the future.

On day 24, which was only Friday, but seems like a year ago, I sent a great CD to someone who won't be expecting it.

Day 25, yesterday, I was nicer than usual to my kids (at least I think so) and I gave Grace a small gift to thank her for helping me with a couple things.

I am thinking alot more about giving, but I am getting tired of tracking it, and confessing, if you will.  I have 4 days left, and I will say that I am more thoughtful each day, but that in between a full time job, four dance practices, two basketball practices, a basketball game, laundry and general home maintence, daily giving is a challenge.  Giving isn't hard, but doing it in a way that isn't just throwing money around (my personal over-compensation for my lack of time) is a challenge.

I will keep on giving, and keep on thinking more about people, I admit it. So, just a couple more days in gimmcik number 1 in 2010 Be Better...

On day 19 I gave money to my Quito girls.  For 5 or 6 years we have sponsored a couple girls in Ecuador through Children International, and so I gave them an extra contribution for education.  Children International does do a great job of telling you about your sponsored child.

On day 20 I bought lunch for some people who needed lunch. They work in my office, so they weren't the homeless variety, but they did need lunch.

Day 21 isn't over yet, so back off, already.  I am working on it.

Day 18 -  I am mailing a birthday present to one friend, who needs a present right now.  I am mailing a birthday present for Sophie (gosh I hope I heard right that it was her birthday...) and some little gifts to Jennie and Martin.  I am going to give a present to Sevda, too, by including some cookies for Jennie to mail to Sevda (it costs $40 to mail $4 of girl scout cookies out of the country so I will let Jennie do the mailing part ). 

I actually am thinking ahead, better, trying to remember what birthdays are coming and getting people things they would like.  This is somewhat counter to my usual gift giving of giving what I like.  I have several upcoming birthdays all shopped for, and I have delightful valentines gifts for certain people, plus we are throwing a valentines party for the girls friends.

I wrapped up the day by cleaning out my gift buckets, and gave two huge bags of presents for the Good Kid box to Grace's teacher.  Things I have assembled over the years and never given away, but that any Fourth Grader will be happy to have.

Look out Day 19, here I come...

I said earlier that day 8 was the hard day.  Day 16?  Twice as hard.

On day 14 I took my mother in law to a musical.  I let her buy me dinner, and I bought her coffee.  We kind of gifted each other.  The book talks quite a bit about reciprocity being part of what you need to learn about the universe - and taking gifts is often hard for me.  So I will take this as a sign I am growing.

On day 15 I mailed a handful of letters to people, I got my kids some yummy snacks for lunches, which is kind of a cross between normal parenting, and gifting.  At this point, I am realizing I am not, as the requirement states, being particularly mindful about giving.  I vow to work on this part. 

So on day 16 I wrote a letter to a friend (who I don't think reads my blog) who needs a friend who isn't crazy right now.  I sent her this super cool necklace I bought on our trip to San Diego, that I have been saving for just such an occasion (someone needing something cool) but only after I mindfully surfed the internet for something that would be decadent that she would never do for herself.  Day 16 felt a tiny bit more mindful.

On day 17, which was yesterday, Oi.  I struggled a little.  So I gave my children patience, their way and a movie.  We went and picked up donuts at Krispy Kreme - because they wanted to.  Then they picked where we were having dinner, and we went to Avatar.  Which was delightful, I must say.

I am working out all kinds of thoughtfulness for today to make up for my lack of mindfulness...

Earlier this year I won a gift.  It was a really good gift.  If you are flexible.  If you plan ahead.  But I am not, always, and I didn't.

So today I had to sigh deeply and "downgrade" my 2 round trip tickets to Europe into 2 round trip tickets to Acapulco (we could still have gone to Europe, but only if we never wanted to come home... which maybe isn't such a bad idea after all). Then I bought 2 more tickets and reserved a room in a newly refurbished, expensive hotel for a week for my family.  While I get to go too, I am counting this as a gift to all of us.  I could get used to this kind of giving.

This year, Grace wants to sell 650 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.  That is a lot.  We aren't really making very good progress, either, because our neighborhood is pretty hard to sell to.  Today, we gave 10 boxes of cookies to troop to troop, to help her meet her goal, and to give a minuscule token of our daily appreciation to our troops for the sacrifices they make for us.  Troop to troop is when Grace's girl scout troop sends cookies to the U.S. troops by soliciting donations.

I was about to type that one of the challenges with this giving challenge is that I haven't been really embracing the whole concept of MINDFUL giving.  I am giving, but I am not really being terribly mindful about it.  But then, as I was typing this, I thought back to the following quote, and I guess maybe I was a tiny bit mindful today.

"A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving."  Albert Einstein.

Today, I will remind you that you can give too - after emotionally assaulting you with Albert.  You can contact our chief troop giver with your request, if you feel moved to give cookies too, by emailing your request to me@mostlyjenine.com.

Today, we were super busy with fun.

We got hair cuts.  We washed the car.  We ate - we actually ALL ate - Indian food for lunch.  Grace went back 4 times to the buffet.  Andra said "this is good".  Then we spent gift certificates for used books and games.  We drove ourselves down to Kara's volleyball tournament - Go team!  Then, we drove Ryan to get Levi, and stopped by the theaters to see, what else - the Squeaquel.  But the fun?  The fun didn't stop there.

We agreed, all around, that we were ready to go home.  We started driving home.  We talked about what we wanted to dinner at home.  And then we saw the sign.  On the corner.  A small, A frame white sign with only two simple words.  Roller Derby.  So we turned around, and went back - of course!  Who wouldn't?

And now, I am in love with roller derby.  First, they gave us the chance to give.  They had Food Bank donations and Haiti donations.  So we gave to Haiti, again.  It still doesn't seem like enough, so I guess we will probably keep on giving.  Then, we got to go to the roller derby!  Super girl power, roller skates, a rock band - what else is there?  We had a great time and came home.  I can't wait to go to roller derby again, plus I need to start working on my Roller Derby Name.  Je Mean Business?  (pronounced to rhyme with Jenine and a little French accent?)  J-9-Lives?  You know, 9 lives?  Maybe less obscure, something like "I'll Kill You"?  I'll keep working on it.

Today I took Bob to lunch.  And bought him personalized memo pads. 

We were both crabby, for different reasons.  But after a wedge salad and a pepperoni pizza, the world seemed like a brighter place for both of us.

I will say that I also over tipped, all day, even to people who barely served me (so I really, truly believe tipping at all was a gift).

Gifts all around.

I have muddled over this for a while.  I miss writing letters.  I miss receiving letters.  There is something special and wonderful about some pretty stationery or a bright postcard in the mailbox.  It balances out the notes from our mailman/cousin saying our mail has been stolen and left all over the neighborhood.  Writing letters, however, is really a lost art.  We email, we text - we just don't write letters anymore.

I cleaned up my home office a little, and I realized I have enough stationery to write my congressmen, all of them, every day all year.  Fortunately, I don't want to write to them, I want to write to people I like. 

I have had this idea that if you wrote a letter to someone every day, that your life would be magically better.  I don't know how, but I keep thinking I should try it and see.  I have come up with all kinds of rules I should follow over the years, and while I am great at other people's rules, I don't follow my own rules very well at all.  So to heck with the rules. 

I aim to use up my stationery.  I will write letters.  If they are private, I will spare you the details, but I will post who I sent to and maybe why for each day. 

Let's just see where I end up.  I will start posting after my 29 days are up, so stay tuned.

I gave a lot today.  I gave quite a few people grief.  I gave quite a bit of lip.  I gave my job all the cranky frenetic energy I had.  I actually accomplished all kinds of things I have been needing to get done, and yet, instead of feeling satisfied and productive, I was just annoyed. 

Everything seemed way harder than it should have, and everyone had questions.  QUESTIONS!  The NERVE.

All things considered, I didn't feel very giving, and I wasn't entirely focused on what I could offer the universe.  I read last night, and the gal in the book is getting a little annoying, and throwing away her bra because the medicine woman told her to in a divination, and I can't relate.  Then I dreamed last night about missing my flight to go on vacation with my family, but only after dreaming that I nagged Phil relentlessly about being to the airport 2 hours early, because it was an international flight.  Then Grace whined all morning about me helping her find her homework, which she dreamed was at our house, but which was really at the neighbors house. 

I ate at my desk, came straight home from the girl's dance class and talked to no one except the people who have to talk to me at work.  Giving opportunities limited.

I tried to give a present to Bob, but I was trying to use a coupon, and it didn't work because it was some nebulous spam coupon I was dumb enough to think was real.  Anyway, I guess that kind of giving isn't what it is all about.

So I am under the gun, and Project Runway is almost over, and the book says if you miss a day you have to start over.  Day 8 is usually the end of the road for me.  It is the day I stop taking antibiotics.  It is the day I would go back on the juice if I ever pretended to try and quit drinking coffee.  So really, it is a pretty big day for me and to complete my BE BETTER 2010 campaign, I can't give up now.

The only thing I have left to give, today, is my next big idea.    Look up.